I was thinking about how my mind sees things differently from how they really are in so many areas. Today, I want to talk about body image and how it shapes the way we see ourselves.
As some of you know, I lived most of my life weighing over 400 lbs. My brain became used to seeing myself that way, and it was what I called my “normal” (even though it was anything but normal). I never seriously tried to lose weight because I thought, “Why bother?’ You have so much to lose, and you’ll never succeed.”
However, when I finally decided to lose weight and had gastric bypass surgery, I lost a lot of weight very quickly. I thought, “Wow, that was very easy!” The number on the scale had dropped dramatically, but I still saw myself as overweight. I didn’t see the 400-pound version of myself anymore, but I also didn’t recognize the woman who was 220 pounds lighter. The weight came off so fast that my mind didn’t have time to catch up with my reality.
I had heard from therapists that “if you don’t change your mindset, nothing changes.” I heard it but didn’t truly listen. I was on a weight-loss high, but that feeling eventually faded, and, of course, I regained most of my weight. The reasons why? We’ll get to that in my next blog.
Whenever I saw people looking in my direction, I assumed they were staring at me because of my weight. But in reality: (1) they probably weren’t looking at me at all, and (2) I wasn’t even that heavy anymore. My mind and emotions just hadn’t caught up with reality.
The important thing is that my mind hadn’t changed, so it was easy to fall back into old habits. I didn’t recognize or appreciate the progress I had made. So, I regained weight, reaching about 350 pounds, and stayed that way for about ten years. Then, I finally said to myself, “Okay, Cynthia, it’s time to take this weight off and keep it off for good.”
But how was I going to do that? I started paying closer attention to what I ate, walking a little more. I was doing okay, then Coach Don came into the picture. (If you’ve been following my journey, you know how! If not, feel free to email me, and I’ll fill you in.)
As Coach Don and I worked together, I began to see things from a different perspective. This time, I was losing weight, but slowly. This was a multi-layered process, something I had never done before. I wasn’t just changing my diet and exercise; I was changing the way I thought about food and how I saw myself.
I had to realize that the scale wasn’t my measure of success. My worth wasn’t tied to a number. I needed to feel whole and happy, no matter what it said. (Oh, and by the way, I never weigh myself anymore!)
I had to learn to see the positive aspects of myself, inside and out. Once you truly learn to love yourself, no matter your appearance, your life begins to change.
In my next blog, I will share some ways you can start that journey, too. Just know that your mind is very powerful and can be controlled by what you let it think.
Remember, transformation starts from within. Love yourself, fuel your body, and embrace the journey, one step at a time. You are stronger than you think!
Love, Cynthia